The impasse in relations

Of course, no one wants to start a family in advance thinking that it will still fall apart after a few years - from cheating and mutual disrespect. But someone from this easier? During the years of the marriage relationship goes through many crises and often in order to get out of the impasse and depression, you need to make serious work - to change the usual way of thinking and attitude to the problem.

They say, love lives for three years, and then dies, and it is not nonsense, and biological regularity. But many psychologists believe (support!), We incorrectly refers to the phenomenon of love - and this many personal misfortunes. Adoption is that love - a bang, blow to the head, the arrow of Cupid in the heart. All such mysterious, unpredictable and inconsistent. And though she did so, the main thing to understand - love requires a serious willingness to work hard. It must not find us and take for what it is. This is what we - individually - are obliged to try to get it (as a good, prestigious job, if you want to) be patient and seek compromises, like when communicating with the menacing bosses.

Here comes Anna, he says he feels like cools to her husband, crying. She was hurt, bitter: she married, she thought that they would be together with Mitya to the end, she gave him all her life! Now she is acutely feels like moving away, they now more often quarrel. Mitya seemed stopped in development. She thinks it will be, would sit all day at a computer - is not interested in anything, nothing attracts, will not aspire. After all, they had a whirlwind romance. Mitya could break away and suddenly take her for the weekend somewhere to the coast. Really he did not care how he looks in her eyes?

The paradox is that the cooling of the partner - is primarily our deliberate mistake. That is, we grow cold because they themselves do not take the trouble to give him love. Psychologically, the loss of love is associated with a reduction in permanent positive interest in his wife. Please do not become the main man himself, and his attitude, "it is for me not trying." Then - a social role, "a good man, but do not earn much. Then we begin to compare to the others: "I deserve more! ". And the last stage of cooling - cease to spare and protect from unpleasant emotions. "He spared me ?! "

The desire to please is, incidentally, the last in this destructive process. Our brain works so that the desire to make a good impression of themselves disappear much later wishes to take - always bothers to listen before talking to. In women, it is the property of the nervous system causing false feeling - it seems that they somehow just trying to, as opposed to the second half.

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