How to stop quarreling with her husband

Couples living together for years, anyway have to overcome crises. What you need to do to bury the hatchet of war the family once and for all - let's talk about this.

In the life of Xenia was a moment when it seemed all the patience in the co-habitation with spouse Bones anymore. It is even strange how this man could be near her husband - the way he spoke as ate, slept, went to the bathroom, his presence nearby, all caused the desire to be away. Love was not, marriage is almost there. That was a one point family life Xenia.

With Bones scandals are often very difficult. How does their small boat resisted after all the family scenes, they were mind-boggling. It says she Xenia, which is his former gloomy attitude towards her husband is now evaluated quite differently.

- I do not want anyone to devote to the details of his personal life - she says. Yes, they are, in general, no matter entirely: quarreled with my husband because he is not doing something at home or lack of money - what's the difference in the presence of a scandal? The important thing is that I was able to overcome some of his internal systems and realize a very simple idea: "You do not want scandals - scandals are not."

At first glance, everything is simple to triviality. Simple philosophy of life - in order to avoid the storm just do not open your mouth to shout abusive or insulting words. But try to behave this way ...

The problem is that the "elementary" Council to end the marital quarrels reduced, in fact, not only is such a prohibitive technology - not to cry and not to swear .  To really live without quarrels, many things need to "carry over his head", to rethink and it is difficult for modern man: there are plenty of social expectations, which it must meet .  Men need to earn a lot, so as not to pass for underdogs, women are obliged to look good, to farm .  Besides earning money to keep up with the others and feel independent .  Relationships are largely determined by external parameters (income, car, office and so on . d . ), We belong to themselves on the basis of external ratings, if we look at ourselves through the eyes of someone else's .  And her husband is accidentally falling from the Social Olympus - start to earn less or be fired - all earned their points reset to zero .

At such moments, many women, funky struts family stability, includes an internal critical voice. This voice is a constant reminder of what and where their family is not so. The habit of a competitive race and inescapable rigidity to itself forced each of them to do everything possible to avoid internal criticism. Presumably, for such feelings are feelings of guilt and shame that we, even as adults, sometimes continue to fight for the recognition of the success of our parents and teachers. Although for a long time no one is above the soul, no wings and no abuses of the two, we are continuing to be ashamed of themselves accused of laziness, stupidity and God knows what else knows sins. By the way, the prosecution of relatives (who does not accuse the wives of her husband that he take time off from work?) - To a certain extent it is also his own fear not meet the high criteria (transfer of the psyche in terms of specialists).

This is the problem of relations with its ideal J. If we set ourselves unrealistic goals are too far from the real self - our present abilities and capabilities - that doom ourselves to perpetual dissatisfaction.

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