Do not read this post if you are suspicious, sensitive and prone to hypochondria. Do not read it at night. Do not look for bindings to time and place. It is - part of my life. It is - part of my pain. I have no right to forget it.
The queue at the office cancers tend to be the quietest place in the clinic. Much of it familiar, newcomers stare at with interest. Sympathy for each other. Divide gossip and recipes. Do not resent and do not ask why the doctor takes so long. They know that for a long time - it's bad.
Every day there is a new queue, nervous face. It requires immediate admission, loudly asked whether enough competent doctor this, as it is there ...
Queue understands and responds favorably, that here all the cancer, but if you really have to - go. The scandal has not erupted. My turn - the most friendly. Poor one - it changes too often face.
At the reception came a young woman full of energy. Son, 14 years old, a good job. I came to hospital discharge - cervical cancer .
- When you find out that you do something wrong?
She smiles broadly and somehow happily:
- Oh, I'll tell you exactly - 14 October. I was the one-and-some bleeding, my husband gynecology at the hands brought. What is there for me, Doctor?
- Let's see.
- Oh, I'm afraid in the chair. Suddenly again there will be blood?
- It should be in the chair. Therefore no other way to understand it. And when the last time you were at the gynecologist?
- Yes, the summer was, we have to work a mandatory medical examination. I was told that I leukoplakia and sent to such a clinic. But I did not go. What am I, stupid? And they get kickbacks from there.
-And Why not go somewhere else?
- So once back!
During the conversation getting to inspection. Everything is bad. The cervix is destroyed, the tumor has grown into the uterus, parametrium area. At least 3-in stage. Until 4th lacks only the distant metastasis, the defeat of the bladder and rectum. However, it remains to be verified.
- Bad.
- What is wrong? What do I do?
- Malignant tumors of the cervix. Get your hands on the glass and in the oncologic dispensary. Glass reconsider the diagnosis confirmed once again, and will be treated.
No, she did not cry. She smiled:
- Doctor, I'm not going to die. I only life began. My husband and ta-Which house is built! If you only knew what my house!
A couple of days pocle dispensary.
- No, it does not take long to be treated. Ask raise hemoglobin, even up to 100 g / l. Another check bladder and rectum (who would doubt!). No, everything will be fine, but menstruation is coming. How would again not raskrovitsya - and already leaving - Doctor, what do you think, my husband say?
- And what are you still did not say anything ?!
After 8 days in the hospital corridor tossing a large man in his forties. Voltage gushes out of it in this thread, allowing him or her to mark impossible.
- Come on. You whose?
- My wife is in your hospital. She is in intensive care in serious condition. SHE neglect CANCER !!!
- So, it you still did not say? Sit down. The fact that your wife's cancer started - a secret just for you. And I know about it, and she and Oncology Center. The diagnosis is confirmed. Radical treatment is no longer possible. If you are very lucky, we will be able only to prolong her life. For some time. Five-year survival rates - up to 10%.
- So now she will slowly die? !!
His voice so much anger and resentment. Yes, she will die. But fast. And painful. It is impossible to say. I'm not saying. At the time I bite tongue.
- We must fight. Need to try. We must knock on all the doors. Drive back and then there and then. Ask. She's very young. Young takes, the young have a chance.
What a terrible word "chance". He was waiting, dreaming about it, it wants to receive. But how often "chance" - is wholly false.
He suddenly dropped his shoulders. Goes off anger in his eyes.
- So this is my house must be sold. Why did he single me now. If you only knew what we built the house!
It was given this house.
He arrived a week later. He was already there, and there and there. Everyone says - why so late? All ready to start radiation therapy, only the hemoglobin should be higher. She tries hard she carefully performs all purposes. Already approaching New Year and the next menstruation. And it could well be the last.
She lived for another 4 months. My husband fought, he was able to give her these months. A few days before the New Year she did uterine artery embolization. Then, immediately after the holidays, the operation Wertheim - this is a great and radical intervention. Only at this stage completely meaningless and ineffective. In many patients, there is a desire - by all means "cut" the tumor. Why is it so bad, because there is no tumor, its "cut"? If only it were so simple.
He came to see me drunk, apologized. He was not an alcoholic, it - from weakness. Suddenly he called her out of my office and strictly inquired whether she cooked soup.
- Well, why, why is it silent? Why she did not tell me before?
Why is that? I hate this question as much as I hate this disease. I know a few answers, but they're terrible, they can not say out loud, you have to bite tongue.
How could you tell him that cervical cancer causing human papilloma virus - infection, sexually transmitted. That since the meeting took place with the virus for nearly 10 years. What all these years could be a thousand times to see the changes on the cervix and all cured. With summer on the clinical examination it was already a real cancer. What cytology - compulsory study, which was placed on prophylactic examinations - it allows suspected cancer long before it all becomes clear. What the doctor conducting the medical examination, had to call to call, transfer. In the end, to make! After all, the meaning of baseline medical examination in this - to see, yet the symptoms and complaints. See, when you can treat.
- She knew that she had a problem with the cervix. Why it was not treated?
- She was afraid ... She was always afraid of doctors.
- But now it is not terrible.
I feel that there was another terrible answer to the terrible question "why? "The same house. That-Which house! If you knew, Doctor ... I can see how she blithely waving his hand, "then, not now. It is necessary to finish the house. Very soon... "
Why is this happening so far ?! Why is this happening when Hans Ginzelman colposcopy invented in 1925 ?! Why is this happening when the cytology can be done easily and for free ?! I know the answer. But they're all terrible. They can not say out loud. Again, I bite my tongue.
By the way, they did not sell the house. It's good. House would not save her.
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