Sanity always secures self-defense, so that living in a couple, we do not experience painful problems with confidence, do not believe every minute that we partner changes. In women, this often becomes a camozaschita neproshibaemoy armor that, in general, of course, understandable. Emotional woman wasted not only on himself and friends - they are still children, and work on an equal basis with men, plus a house in need of guidance. Women should be enough for all, and this requires strong mental self-control - not only to give, but also to defend themselves.
There is, for example, such a method obereganiya yourself: Many women say they do not want to hear about the infidelities of her husband. That is, whether these were treason or not, the main thing - even if he does not tell them.
"I've never been jealous, no control - to sense still does not happen, but their nerves in vain istreplesh. Yes, and it's disgusting - call request from the adult male of the report: where to go, when you come ... And now I understand, it was scary to know the truth. Or I did not want to know, "- says N.
She believes that this would not know if my husband did not admitted. His passion was the lady selfish and demanding, so he decided to break up with her. And as for his wife he was ashamed, as he himself says, he took them, and confessed. Well though no details!
N. asked a psychologist, he realized that he could not cope. "It turns out it is the burden of guilt took off, made a good deed - honestly confessed to everything! And, most surprising, we expect that all of us will continue! What do I forgive him and forget everything, - she says. And I can not forget. And I just can not. Not even his affair, and that he dumped me all this. He did not want me to do well, and himself - to facilitate the conscience. But my feelings do not think, and this is worst of all. No, it's better to live quietly in the dark ... "
What can I say? Yes, seriously. But a happy marriage - it is not always idyllic two lovers, it develops, changes, goes through a crisis. The crisis - it is breaking: the established marriage rules breaks the one they have ceased to hold. Find an anti-crisis solution can be only if you are able to look at the situation, step back from your ego - you will not think about how you sad, and why did this happen in your couple. What are his motives; Do you believe him ...
You know, I have good friends - a couple. They are together for more than 15 years have passed somewhere five years ago through treason (he was born on that link child, a son), parted, but some time later reunited. She said that when the pain subsided, she sat down and seriously asked myself: what is more important to her - to live without him or with him. And in the end I decided.
Today, in addition to their own children, they are raising an adopted child, and they are fine.
There is a psychological sign. If you react to change your loved one as a delusion, it is likely that you will be able to overcome the crisis. And if as a betrayal, it is unlikely you will find the strength to forgive the poison of betrayal will poison your future relationships. Does it make sense in this case, they save?
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